Randi Kreger
Coauthor of Stop Walking on Eggshells
Book Recommendations:
Recommended by Randi Kreger
“Darlene Lancer understands the DNA of people with narcissistic personality disorder, including their relationships. Her clinical credentials and personal experience make this a book that is not to be missed if you have a partner with NPD, whether you're staying in the relationship or leaving.” (from Amazon)
by Darlene A Lancer LMFT·You?
Do you feel trapped between your love and your pain, long for peace but feel exhausted, belittled, and confused by a narcissist? If you're in an abusive relationship and either don't want to leave or are having difficulty doing so, Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist is for you. It's insightful, researched, and empathetic. The core problem is that narcissists prioritize power and sacrifice the relationship to get it, while their partners prioritize the relationship and sacrifice themselves to keep it. Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist offers hope and can help you restore your self-esteem and rebalance power in an abusive or narcissistic relationship. It includes an in-depth analysis of the relationship, Essential Tools for Improving and Leaving it, how to make changes, and how to assess its prognosis. It will help you leave if that's what you choose. This workbook is packed with healing exercises, checklists, and many suggestions, including a strategic step-by-step plan with scripts to confront abuse and get your needs met. You will reclaim yourself and improve your relationship, whether the narcissist is your partner, parent, child, sibling, or co-worker or doesn’t have a narcissistic personality disorder. In sum, you will have practical plans you can implement to better your relationship with yourself and your loved one and be able to determine whether and how to leave the relationship. You will: Discover the diagnosis, type, and deep motivations of a narcissistRecognize the warning signs when dating a narcissistIdentify the behavior and what to expect in narcissistic relationshipsUnderstand your role and attraction to a narcissistRegain your independence, confidence, and self-esteemRebalance the power in the relationshipFind out how to confront narcissistic abuse effectivelyBe able to assess your relationship and prepare to leave Chapter 1 examines a narcissistic personality disorder, types of narcissists, narcissistic parents, and the cause and signs of narcissism. Chapter 2 focuses on the underlying features, behaviors, motivations, and traits. You will discover how to identify the type you’re dealing with, and why narcissists act the way they do. Chapter 3 explains narcissistic behavior and defenses and all varieties of narcissistic abuse including the most subtle forms. Chapters 4 and 5 describe codependency and the typical personality of people who love narcissists and what makes them susceptible to narcissists and abuse. Chapters 6 and 7 look at the relationship, starting with the mutual attraction and the signs and problems that arise when dating and loving a narcissist. They cover issues such as control, intimacy, emotional unavailability, love-bombing, trauma bonds, ghosting, and gaslighting and how to determine whether a narcissist is capable of love. If you’ve been repeatedly emotionally abandoned, you’ll learn how to prevent its recurrence. Chapters 8 and 9 are about taking action and changing the balance of power. A blueprint is laid out to follow in order to change the relationship dynamics. Chapter 9 details a step-by-step game plan to effectively communicate with the narcissist in your life and confront their narcissistic behavior and subtle forms of emotional abuse. Scripts are suggested you can practice setting boundaries and ask for changes that you want. It also offers advice for navigating couples therapy. The final chapters 10-12 discuss leaving your relationship and moving on. They cover why it’s so difficult, how to decide, and what to expect, including hoovering and flying monkeys, plus practical advice regarding tactics and strategies in divorcing a narcissist. The stages of recovery from narcissistic abuse are set forth with guidance and recommendations for creating a single life, dating, and therapy.
Recommended by Randi Kreger
“Wendy Behary is my go-to therapist when I need information about people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or how they interact with family members. In this new edition, Wendy shows you why you feel so lonely and misunderstood in these relationships, and why you keep your own needs tucked away. Whether you decide to stay in this relationship or leave, the insights Wendy Behary provides make this an essential book for anyone in a relationship with a narcissist.” (from Amazon)
by Wendy T. Behary LCSW, Daniel J. Siegel MD, Jeffrey Young PhD·You?
by Wendy T. Behary LCSW, Daniel J. Siegel MD, Jeffrey Young PhD·You?
The go-to guide for dealing with the narcissist in your life—now fully revised and updated based on reader feedback! Do you know someone who is overly arrogant, shows an extreme lack of empathy, or exhibits an inflated sense of entitlement? Do they exploit others, or engage in deluded thinking? These are all traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and when it comes to dealing with narcissists, it can be difficult to get your point across. So, how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one—so ignoring them isn’t really a practical solution. They're frustrating, and maybe even intimidating, but ultimately, you need to find a way of communicating effectively with them. Now a self-help classic, Disarming the Narcissist is a practical, step-by-step communication guide to help you cope with and confront the narcissist in your life. Based on reader feedback, this fully revised and updated third edition features new information on shame, hypersexuality, and infidelity in narcissism; legal information to help you if you are divorcing a narcissist; and the impact of narcissism on children. With this how-to guide, you’ll learn how to separate yourself from a narcissist's traps, and gain the respect and validation you deserve—while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. Finally, you’ll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.
Recommended by Randi Kreger
“Unlike most clinicians, Daniel Lobel understands that the majority of people with BPD do not think they have anything wrong with them and therefore do not seek treatment. When this is the case, family members need specific information and tools that are hard to find. In this book, Lobel takes these family members from helplessness to hopefulness.” (from Amazon)
by Daniel S. Lobel PhD·You?
Support yourself and your loved one living with borderline personality disorder Loving someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be complex and overwhelming. This guide provides compassionate strategies and exercises to help you set boundaries, practice self-care, and build a healthier and more supportive relationship. This top choice in borderline personality disorder books helps you to: Understand BPD―Learn more about what BPD is and how it affects your loved one, your relationship, and you personally.Consider their perspective―Explore how your loved one might feel in specific scenarios and how those feelings motivate their behavior.Care for yourself―Acknowledge your emotions, and discover a variety of ways to seek support and make time for yourself.Take action―Discover tips and techniques for communicating effectively with your loved one, as well as writing prompts to help you apply the strategies you learn to your relationship.Pick up this standout among BPD books and get the tools you need to create balance and harmony in your relationship.